Divorce

A large majority of individuals in unhappy marriages who hang in there and avoid divorce end up reporting their marriages are very happy a few years later. For the most part, those who divorced and even those who divorced and remarried were not happier than those who stuck with their marriages. About half of all divorces come from marriages that are not experiencing high levels of conflict; individuals from these marriages generally experience a decrease in happiness over time. When individuals end high- conflict marriages, however, they increase their happiness, on average. About two in ten individuals appear to enhance their lives through their divorce, but about three in ten seem to do worse; about four in ten individuals build future romantic relationships but they have mostly the same kinds of problems as they did in their previous marriage. Divorce can eliminate some of the problems with your spouse, but it can also cause others; for many couples conflict actually increases after a divorce. Many people report having mixed feelings and even regrets about their divorce. Studies suggest some divorced individuals wished they and/or their ex-spouse had tried harder to work through their differences.

About three of four divorced people will eventually remarry. However, second marriages have even higher rates of divorce, although if couples can hang on through the challenging first five years of remarriage, their chances for success are high. More than 90% of young people believe they will meet and marry their “soul mate.” But with this attitude comes the risk that when couples run into serious problems in their marriage they may think that they made the wrong choice rather than think that they need to work out their problems.